Move over, Monty Python

-Holly Heinrich

Ninth grade biology teacher Eric Martin talks about his childhood in the country, his baby daughter Violet, and of World of Warcraft.

It’s a get-to-know you assignment in a tenth grade L.A. class. The teacher posts several lists of questions on the walls around the room and divides the kids into 10 groups. She tells them to make a group decision on each of the questions and that afterwards she’ll compare answers. The time is up, and the answers are read. Favorite summer movies? Superbad, Knocked Up…the list goes on. Favorite novel? Harry Potter (of course), Twilight and a few others.  Favorite ninth grade teacher?

Group 1: Mr. Martin

Group 2: Mr. Martin

Group 3: Mr. Martin

Group 4: Mr. Martin

Group 5: Mr. Martin

Group 6: Mr. Martin

Group 7: Mr. Martin

Group 8: Mr. Martin

Group 9: Mr. Martin

Group 10: Mr. Martin

From every group comes the affirmation that of the many classes and personalities of the hard first year, one person clearly stood out as the best.

What makes a teacher so gifted that he can take the intricacies of advanced biology and make them understandable to classes of ninth graders who are mostly only there because they have to be? And what makes him so funny that on his best days his lectures rank up there with classic episodes of Monty Python? The Featherduster went to the source and interviewed Eric Martin about his life, his family, and the experiences that made him who he is.

Featherduster: You grew up in the country and went to Gainesville High School.  Can you tell us about that?

Mr. Martin: Guys named Bubba and women with five teeth—three in their mouth and two in their pocket.

FD: What were you like in high school?

Mr. M: Same as I am now. An idiot.

FD: What were your hobbies/what did you like to do?

Mr. M: I liked to read, I liked art, I liked to swim, and cartoons…I liked cartoons.

FD: What are your hobbies now?

Mr. M: I like to read, do various art things, and play World of Warcraft.

FD: Did your parents influence your decision to become a biology teacher?

Mr. M: Absolutely not. They had no influence on me at all…well, maybe my mom did a little.

FD: What was your college experience like?

Mr. M: I went to the University of North Texas. I enjoyed it. I always made sure I had a long lunch. I liked to feed the pigeons Doritos. Not that it’s a good thing to feed pigeons Doritos.

FD: What got you interested in biology?

Mr. M: It’s lots of fun and I’ve always enjoyed it.

FD: What do you like about teaching biology?

Mr. M: I like talking about biology because I think it’s meaningful. I think it’s real and you can relate it to yourself.

FD: What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you in class?

Mr. M: I singed my eyelashes teaching a demonstration on lab safety.

FD: If you taught a subject other than biology, what would you teach?

Mr. M: Physics. Physics is pretty fun. I like to throw and break things.

FD: What do you think it is about your funny stories that help people learn so well?

Mr. M: It could be that sometimes people learn without realizing it. Or maybe telling stories makes it more palatable. But I guess the idea of teaching with stories has been around forever. Did I just use the word “palatable”?

FD: If you could change anything about WHS, what would it be?

Mr. M: Anything? You mean for the greater good or for my own selfish purposes?

FD: Anything.

Mr. M: Add Chick-fil-A! I think being able to use a debit card at school would be good, too. I never carry cash.

FD: I understand you and your wife just had a baby. What can you tell us about that?

Mr. M: She’s a girl. Her name is Violet.

FD: What is it like to have a new baby?

Mr. M: I don’t like babies. I’m afraid I’m going to break them. They’re icky and gross, but now I have one and they’re not so bad. They’re pretty cute and they’re fun to hold.

FD: Is there anything else you’d like to say about Violet?

Mr. M: I have it on authority that she is the most beautiful child to be born. Ever.

FD: Anything else you’d like to add?

Mr. M: No, I prefer multiplication.

What makes Eric Martin the electrifying teacher that he is? Some say it was growing up around women with no teeth. Others would say it was the experience of having his eyelashes ignite in a chemical blaze. But the truth is, the world will never know.